Landmines

Kuta-Lombok is nothing like the heaving mess of its Balinese counterpart. People had told me, even up to five years ago, that Lombok is what Bali was 40-50 years ago. Even though I’d heard this, it’s still hard to shake the image that the Kuta to Legian stretch of beach that burns into your mind. “Transport? Massaaagggeeee? T-shirt? Watch? Sunnies? Then very quietly, girl? Banana massage?” People everywhere, fat Aussies, horrible sunburns, and the full Bintang outfit of hat, singlet and shorts. All in a maze of narrow lanes with cars and scooters battling for road (and very often sidewalk) space. Disgusting really. At least I believe my scepticism of the suggested quietness of Lombok was justified.

Needless to say I was quietly surprised when we arrived in downtown Kuta-Lombok and it turned out to be one wide street with one streetlight and handful of places to stay with just as many warungs (cheap local restaurants) to eat at. The beach was empty, just crystal clear water and white sand, and no one hassling for anything. It is the definition of laid-back island life. As soon as we hopped off the van, booked into our tropical garden hotel room (twin beds an added bonus) for AU$10 per night and got a motorbike, the boards were loaded on and we were off in search of waves. Well after a bit of searching we ended up going off to a place where the dirt road to it is little more than an oxen walkway, with no hope of getting a car down there. The 125cc Honda bike we had was doing a bang up job of getting through the off-road territory and we emerged to an empty cove and some average waves. Not quite the type we had in mind, but still good enough to hop in, get wet and have fun at the end of a long day. The thing we learned straight away in Lombok is that once dusk sets in, you get a not-so-gentle reminder that this is still an island covered in greenery, little to no human inhabitants and many, many insects. Any speed over 40km/ph and any bug that gets you in the eye is like a flying dagger and at dusk we’re pretty much driving through a sea of little knives. Together with potholes, rice being dried, oxen and half a village on the road, you can understand how we hit the ‘landmine.’ It was unavoidable and as soon as we hit, it was an explosion our toes and feet met head on. An ox had left a hot, and I do mean hot, very fresh pile of plop in the middle of the road and one swerve to avoid a pothole resulted in us running straight over the steamy shitty mess. Joel was driving so he got it a bit worse than me, but I still remember the instant warmth that hit my feet and shins and the squishy gross feeling of ox shit between my toes. The boards got hit, the bike was covered and we were laughing uncontrollably at what we’d just done. The worst was yet to come though. The advantage of being on a moving bike is that the only smells come from in front of you, not under your feet, until you stop. We pulled into the hotel parking lot and the stench hit us like a wall, coming straight up from the shit covering the hot engine and gearbox. We basically jumped off, left the boards on the bike and made a dash to the hose to wash ourselves off. The bike just sat there until it cooled down and we had to come back later in the night for the boards. We never hit a landmine after that, but there were a couple of close calls along the way.

What's not to like?

3 April 09 It’s our last day in Bali after two months and instead of getting out and catching one last wave, enjoying the scenery or picking up that last minute bargain, we’re lazing around Sofian’s house in the still, humid heat feeling a bit sorry for ourselves due to a mild case of some stomach bug…Indonesia’s little present goodbye. Joel has it worse than I and after a little food I’m back to almost normal, but he’s in struggle street, owning every inch of it. Not to say we won’t be back tough. Between Bali and Lombok we’ve had some amazing times and trying to write all of them down would require patience and dedication of the likes of which I’ve not mastered. It’d also end up being the length of a small novel. Even as we slowly wait for the minutes to pass by before heading to our $50 AirAsia flight to Singapore I get gentle reminders that we may have been here for seemingly ages, but there is still so much more to see. The point punctuated by the sound of a scooter coming up the road, built for two but carrying one adult and three kids coming home from school all happily chatting away as part of normal life.


Over the last two days I’ve been asked what part of Bali I like the best, and it really is hard to say. If it’s a place, then definitely the break at Balian rivermouth with its small village feel, rice fields, and coconut lined beach. Having said that, the food has been fantastic, Babi Guling a standout favourite, but the variety of campur and bbq’d fish by the side of the road are not to be missed. Everyone mentions the kindness of the people here and, yes, we’ve definitely seen it, but once we got to Lombok, it felt like they had genuine hospitality and kindness compared to Bali. I’d say overall, Bali is a great place with so much variety and even before leaving to other islands I could see how someone could end up wanting to live there for a while. It’s easy to get caught up in the community feel and the atmosphere of the place. I’d suggest though, use Bali as an introduction to Indonesia. Go for a few weeks, see what its all about, but then get out! See what else the rest of the archipelago has to offer. Listen to the local advise on where to go and where not to go. Forget what the media or your government has to say. Talk to travellers who’ve just been somewhere else and get a contact or advise from them. So many places still waiting for any hint of tourism and yet to be corrupted by monetary greed are just a ferry ride away. On this trip we only got as far as Lombok and really that’s not even close to off the beaten path, it’s more like down the slightly overgrown garden path. If I were to get into this part of the world again, I’d skip Bali, head straight to Lombok for a short while and continue east from there. Surf destinations like Lakey Peak in Sumbawa and even across to Sumba sound busy when you talk to surfers, but take a step back from that scene and chances are, not much is going on. Empty beaches, white sand, clear water and locals willing to take you in, what’s not to like?


At the moment our next destination is the jungles of Sumatra, where even more empty line-ups await, malaria runs rampant and the dollar stretches into the distance…

just a bit of catch-up

When I first started writing this blog I had this idea that once a week or every two weeks, I’d have some time free, sit down and bust out a new post. Wishful thinking for sure. I get an idea into my head to write about, sit down and then just get distracted and can’t really be arsed to do it. Motivation dies and I potter around doing something else. I think the main reason is that there is so much to go through and I can’t get it all down in a compressed version that makes any sense. It’s now been weeks since I’ve posted anything, Japan has come and gone and now, 3 weeks after getting to Bali I’m finally typing this.

Nozawa Onsen – a great little ski town with hot spring bath houses scattered throughout and a relaxed peaceful atmosphere. If only the mountain was what I was expecting. I looked it up, saw that it was in Nagano prefecture, amongst the Japanese Alps and just assumed that we would have open bowls, massive chutes, killer terrain park and classic Japan powder. How wrong I was. Don’t get me wrong, it can be a fun hill, but after about 3 days, Snaz and I were getting sick of cat tracks and mogul runs with no decent kickers in the terrain park and definitely no open bowls. Add to that rain, warm days of plus 7 and a quickly receding base, not the perfect picture we thought we were in for. Having said that, it’s still snow and we managed to have a great time learning bits and pieces, shuffles, spins and all kinds of trickery messing about. It all seems so long ago, so skip ahead now to Bali, ‘Island of the Gods.’

Warm sunny days, fun surf and great food. Out of the 3 weeks Joel and I have been here we’ve surfed all of them bar 3. It’s easy to see why people get stuck here for far longer than they expect (or come to escape reality). Had we held to the original plan we’d be in Lombok by now, but the days just blend in. Wake, coffee, surf, eat, rest, surf, eat, drink, sleep, repeat. Throw in some ukulele and massage (no happy endings…yet) and that’s the daily grind. We’ve managed to get a scooter to cruise around on like our own version of the Motorcycle Diaries, board rack on the side exploring the breaks. Staying in local places for about $50 a week including friendly Mamma looking after us, brewing up coffee, mixin up Nasi Campur and hanging out our increasingly smelly clothes is great, but wait till you see what we’ve landed in now! Some friends we’ve made here live in a villa with pool, massive king size beds, day beds, all the works and we’re house sitting for 5 days…livin Deeeeeluxe. And that brings us up to the present. We’ve had nights on ‘jungle juice’ dancing up a storm, paintball skirmish acting out all our trigger happy fantasies, loads of street food and scenery to put some of China to shame. This has been a bit boring I know, but thenext post will be more exciting to read, I promise.

At the end of the middle kingdom

The last entry was one of things that seemed like a good idea at the time and also at the time made so much sense…alcoholic ramblings are definitely not one of my strengths. It’s hard to express so much of what’s happened through a few words and I definitely don’t have the patience to sit down and punch it all out over the space of about a week. That’d be like a job and I’m no paid writer. New things are always popping up so I’m not going to get into any details of the past few weeks in China, so I hope you’ll be content with this overview. Before the last night on the town in Nanning we left off at Christmas shenanigans. December 31st was spent in a place called Yangshuo, north of Nanning and in the middle of some very picturesque countryside. I unfortunately peaked far too soon and was in bed by about 9am (2 years running now!!) but from the many pictures and bandages I saw the next day, the crew seemed to have a pretty good time, but not quite what we had expected…no real big celebrations and no late night snogs with the opposite sex…how boring, 1 Jan we made up for it with roman candle wars, our own fireworks displays, crackers, whizzers, poppers and all sorts of things that go fizz, bang or pop. Everyone had a little pyromaniac trying to get out…especially Dave.

Escaping from a crowded city is great, but getting stuck in a tourist trap is pretty bad so we legged it to a one horse kinda town called Xingping and spent a few days roaming the riverside, mandarin orchards and doing a bit of climbing and caving..ahh the serenity. No traffic, less hassle to buy trinkets and bamboo boat rides and a slower pace of life. Things never seem to go smooth on these trips, but where’s the story in a seamless journey? After thinking that we got a bargain to catch a bamboo ferry raft up river, we get ditched and stranded half way to the destination in a one shack village and no one speaking any English. After a bit of await we finally get help from a friendly Chinese tourist, pay more to get to the end, only to miss everyone’s planned train back that night and we end up in Guilin for 2 days instead of none. This turns out to be a great chance to see the city, some of the crew stay out till 6AM and we find out they wandered into a sex hotel – swiss ball, bondage gear and gyrating bed included. Never a dull moment, even if they didn’t stay there.

Finally getting back to Nanning, my visa is about to expire, but in classic form, I leave it to the last minute. Thursday was my birthday and I’ve decided to take the passport in on Friday for a 7 day extension. Well it turns out now at 10AM Friday I don’t have the right forms, the office closes at 12:00PM for the weekend, my visa expires Sunday and I’m in no state to go home, get the forms printed, filled and peddle my way back on my busted bike. “Yes” I promise, “I’ll be back soon to have it all sorted.” Unfortunately the moment I get back home I just pass out from exhaustion, not to mention a skull that’s carrying around a mess of shit, no longer a brain. Deal with it on Monday. We had a great weekend of bbq (normal meats this time) in the sun, a 20km roundtrip bike ride to some hot springs that turn out to be a holiday resort, but very posh..ahh such a hard life.

Monday rolls around, I have all the forms, printed, copied, ready to go and am then told I need to write a statement as to why I didn’t return on Friday. I’m not going to go through it, but lets just say whatever it was I wrote worked, no be then told “Your passport can be collected on Monday.” Umm, no, I leave on Monday, from a city 5hrs drive away...stressed? you know it. With a bit of persistence Wednesday I get my passport, get to Guilin on Saturday, receive a lovely bout of food poisoning from a place that actually looked sanitary (oh the irony) but make it to Singapore in the end, just in time to get some washing done, re-pack the snow gear and now here I sit in Narita airport, waiting for Snaza to arrive so we can go meet Swami in Nozawa Onsen for 8 days of pristine Japanese powder snow. Don’t expect much writing until Feb, when its time for waves in Indo….happy happy days.

Nanning gone awfully wrong

It's the 16th of Jan, but this story really starts at about 6PM on the 15th. After about 4 weeks of moaning and groaning for a decent curry we finnaly get into a local shop that serves the stuff. That's not really interesting, but if you've been hanging out for the stuff for that long it is. Lets get a few things clear before we go any further. We all have 2 days to go before departing Nanning, Jordan had a great time with a "lady of the night' and now just after dinner we wonder down the road for a little walk and who do we run into? His little friend from a few nights ago...slowly a plan hatches between the 4 of us to get a little public humiliation going. Karaoke is planned for the night and we've decided (after much deliberation) to walk him past the special little shopfront, parading him out like a twisted show pony in front of the whole unassuming group, and then SNAP! out come the cameras, to encampsulate the embarrassment. Unfortunately the plan falied when Jordan never showed up, however, the show must go on...our karaoke booth was probably the talk of the town, if the town had acutally bothered to show up. The five of us rocked it - Heather, Joel, Karina, Stu and Stoner (our chinese friend). It was a really sweet booth but unforutnately, after two hours our time had come to an end. The show was not ready to give up, so just outside the gates to our compound, we found a little shop front with small tables and cheap beer to continue the bullshit spewing from our inebriated mouths(I'm drunk, the awesome chick is typing! also drunk!) Hezwa! After at least half a night, we managed to collect ourselves, make our way into the compound only to escape over the fence again. So this is where our story picks up; hezwa (a.k.a. heather) and i are now in a chinese gaming room with a tallie each having purposely lost joel and plan K at 5am and ol'mate next to us ("wang") has fallen asleep. ma? This now is beginning to make no sense, the gates to bedtime will open soon, and thus we leave you until next time. Yours faithfully, stu and hezwa. hahhhahahahaha wwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeee yyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww

Christmas-a-skewer

It's been a while since the last post and a lot has been happening since then. I've been caught up in Nanning having way too much fun to really take off and get out into a lot of the country in Southern China. We've been having great mini adventures almost every day especially around dinner time and some of the resulting meals have been horrid, some fantastic.

Christmas Day was a big BBQ we had planned, to mix both local custom and some of our home-grown traditions. The plan was to have a BBQ over an open flame in a massive wok set on a few bricks up on the roof of the complex with wood collected from the surrounding parks, meat from the local open air markets and of course a few beers for good measure to see the afternoon out. Well sneaking a wok and a few bricks up to the roof past the front reception desk is easy, but wood for the fire is a bit harder. In the cover of dusk on Christmas Eve we managed to get some bags big enough to stash the broken bits of trees up the stairs like some poor peasant Santa Clause getting ready for the big day. Wood and wok ready, we leave it for the next day to get to the market for the BBQ lunch.

BANG!!! "Merry Christmas!!!" fireworks thrown under the door at 6AM and now the room smells like caudite. Merry Christmas China. We're off to a good start I see. Breakfast is a bit of home comfort - coffee, bacon avo and eggs on toast, then Dave's family tradition of beer in the hand by 9AM, so down it goes, and about 2 tall boys later were all in the spirit of it, Santa hats and all, peddaling down the road to the markets. Imagine being a local Chinese on your way to work at the old tea shop on a usual Thursday morning and you see 7 giggling westerners in silly red hats cycling down the road yelling out Merrry Christmas to everyone. A little strange to say the least.




Group consensus on the menu was to be a little off centre today. No sausages, no steaks, no lamb, no prawns, nothing really that we usually have at home. I think it looked a little like this:

• Beef (no idea what cut or if it really is beef actually)
• Roast pork - to be skewered and re-heated over open flame
• Roast duck again re-skewered and cooked
• dog meat - thats right we had dog meat on Christmas Day
  
• and some veggies, but i can't remember what they were..I'm still thinking about the dog.

Oh and how tasty it turned out to be. Once I got past the idea of it, the dog meat was pretty good and everyone tucked in till there was nothing left. Don't judge me till you've tried it!!! We started off the cooking at about 1PM and it was all going well till about 4PM when the reception decided it was too unsafe and we were forced to disband. Flames were smothered, everything packed up and the party carried on in our room until about 10PM I think. It turned into a mess with spilled beer, broken crockery and general mayhem caused by 10 people in a small double room. After most people had gone off to bed, Joel, Karina (not my sister), Jordan and myself decided that we needed tap beer and undertook a mission to the restaurant down the road that serves it. Bicycle being the easiest way to get there was probably not the safest as we had to double on one (Karina was in no state to ride on her own so she was passenger) and on the way back for reasons known only to her she jumped off the back of a mving one. The fall was seriously like a sack of drunken potatoes going down and the ensuing laughter caused everone to double over in stitches. Joel was sick from laughing...the stupidity of it all. The perfect end to Christmas.